". . . it was the best of times . . . "
We were a family that, in retrospect, was only temporary. The girls that I went through college with shared many of the rainbows in my youth. I remember our very first awkward moments with each other and how we, then, ran into each other to talk.
We’ve had our fair share of good times – the usual breaks were spent in Asia Café, or our dear ol’ cafeteria. In those lost days of college, the girls were the sisters, mothers and daughters I never had. They were with me in every class, every silly argument, every win and loss, and in a more dramatic sense – every heartbreak. And the boys, tsk tsk tsk…quiet and subtle, but they did exist and make an appearance in class often enough.
" . . . it was the worst of times . . ."
The rainbows became less and less frequent in the final semester of college when it snapped like a rubber band inside that our family was dissolving. Those times were raw-boned and vulnerable. They were filled with longing for the past, boredom with the present and fear of the future.
" . . . it was the age of wisdom . . .."
But, of course, we knew it all, and we were never outwardly skeptical. We gave one another the impression that each was our own prima donna. We were all Cleopatras, Queen Elizabeths or Sir Winston Churchills…or maybe Mr. Bush-es. So eager to leave (of course, college was holding us back) that many of us wasted precious time. We would look in the mirror when we should have been turned toward each other.
" . . . it was the age of foolishness . . ."
College was innocent fun. The echoes of all our screams of laughter and joviality, and also anger still ring in my ears.
" . . . we had everything before us . . ."
Everything.
" . . . we have nothing before us . . ."
Our future, like a deflated balloon, requires our hot air (we had a lot of that) and effort to make any use of it. Those of us who would go nowhere since college has done so because we simply allow our eyes to close. And those who would move on because we've given our share of breath and vigor.
We all agreed in our final semester that our most difficult time would be the final moment: when some of us would see each other for the last time. Final moment was to be the day when they removed the shelter that had covered us so securely. Like birds, forced to leave the nest, we would have to fend for ourselves, without each other for support. But, we needed also to find our own pieces of sky. That day was a mixed blessing.
So, we stood in the darkening evening on in front of AM Bank (God knows why?!), having every moment to be immortalized by the clicks of the numerous cameras. We cried our farewells. We were still children in that hour, but the following day would be different. It was only there, that night, which we could have said what Charles Dickens wrote, "The wind is rushing after us, and the clouds are flying after us, and the moon is plunging after us, and the whole wild night is in pursuit of us; but, so far, we are pursued by nothing else."
Chongkz’s note: And the saddest part is that, I have got to defer for no good reason!
